A RIGHT HUMDINGER!
4:15pm Tuesday 7th August 2007
It is a well known fact that many hardened hacks such as my good self are not given for providing apologies for the material they write, some would eat their own ears rather than pen a groveling retraction. But The Vizier is made of sterner stuff, Oh yes he knows the ingredients of Humble Pie like the interior of his belly button. First of all it has been brought to the Viziers attention that the young lady who served him such wonderful pint(s) behind the bar of the Lord Byron was not the Elegant Elaine, but non other than the Lovely Lynne'. In the true tradition of professional journalism The Vizier would like to place the blame squarely at the doorstep of that well known blagard The Unnamed Source'. So there!
And now for my second repentance! When certain pubs in Macclesfield are mentioned in casual conversation most real ale drinkers perform one of following: Cross themselves and shout three Hail Mary's', Shake their heads sagely whilst tutting or Raise a quizzical eyebrow. So when The Three Crowns, Cross Street was pulled out of The Pint Pot of Destiny' two bushy eyebrows did their best to dock at the International Space Station. So it is time for the review, and the reviewer would like to point out that it has been some time since his size eights crossed over the pubs threshold. The Three Crowns is situated near Macclesfield's finest dining establishments namely, Mill Lane Chippy, The Rainbow Café' and Wok's Cooking Takeaway (the chicken in Cantonese sauce is a must). Outside the pub there is a little mini village green where The Wizard of Oz's Munchkins and Snow Whites Seven Dwarves play international football matches every other Wednesday. From the outside our pub looks like a giant shoebox with windows and missile silos thinly disguised as chimney stacks point at the sky, ready to defend us drinkers from alien invasion.
Shall we take a look insideok lets! The Vizier was expecting the worst, a soulless and bleak place with cold winds blowing across the bar and unsavoury patrons who would not look out of place from an episode of The Addams Family! But No! My expectations were brushed away by the broom of conviviality. It may come as a shock to some Maxonians but the Three Crowns is NORMAL! I jest ye not. You have two major decisions to make when you first enter, do you frequent the Pool Room? Or lounge in the main bar? What do you do? The main bar is a very roomy with comfortable seating all around and a phsyidelic carpet. The walls are decorated with mottled cream wallpaper upon which are photographs of Old Macclesfield'. There is also a well stocked jukebox, the volume of which is at a level acceptable to human earlobes, a quiz machine for the most discerning drinker and an electric keyboard for fans of the great Liberace. If you follow the main room around you will end up in the pool room which surprisingly also has plenty of space and seating.
And now to the most important part of this dissertation.The Beer! All that can be said, and all that will be said is "Boomshanka"! The variety of ale is stupendous let us start with what is on tap: Joseph Holt Bitter (4.0% abv) and Holt's Mild (3.2% abv) are good session beers and are not to be sniffed at, the usual suspects in the lager department are also on display. But now we come to the tour de force of The Three Crowns, The Bottles! The Vizier only sampled a couple of them but what he did sample tantalised the taste buds. If you do visit the Crown's do take time to get your laughing gear around some of these: 1849 (4.5%), Touchwood (4.5), Humdinger (4.1%), Maplemoon (4.8%) and Thunderholt (5%). I know you are amazed and cannot wait to order a cab to get yourself down there, but hold on to your underpants, this review is not over yet. What about the wine? I here you ask! Well here is a comment from Mrs. Vizier who came along with me: "Oooooh that's grand". So there you go enough said.
It was also a pleasure to chat with the outgoing landlady Gillian who was and probably still is best described as "Down to Earth". During our conversation she told of the devastating news that she will be leaving the Crown's in the middle of August. Boo and double hiss! Well done Gillian for running the pub your way and all the best for the future. But who is to be the new Monarch of the Crown's? Well news has reached the ears of the Vizier then none other than Wendy from the High Street chippy will be taking over the reigns, to start a new reign as it were. So get yourselves to the Crown's and give Wendy your support!